MYSPACE.COM/SENDING LIGHT INTO DARKNESS
By Keith Poletiek

Hey, dad, can I have a myspace?
I shiver, look away and try to ignore her! “Don’t make eye contact!” I say to myself.
What does my sweet, little, twelve-year-old, Christian princess want with an evil myspace anyway? Who has brainwashed my precious angel?
“No, you don’t need a myspace!” I tell her thinking that will be the end of the conversation. But it isn’t, and why? Because my cute, innocent, does or doesn’t do it because daddy said so, little girl isn’t so little anymore and she is starting to want a life of her own. Not a bad life or even a corrupt life. She hasn’t changed her value system or gone over to the “Dark Side!” She just wants what everybody else her age wants and seems to be getting and enjoying, and talking about all the time; and when you get left out of that big of a social necessity, you decide you need it and must have it.
“Don’t you trust me?” She says, knowing she’s painting me into a corner.
I have to think fast! She’s become a pro at this and a lot sooner than I anticipated!
So what did I do? I did what most dads would do when faced with a dilemma I haven’t had to deal with yet… I called in mom. My go to partner, my help in times of trouble, my…scapegoat when I know I’m in over my head.
“YOUR daughter wants a myspace!” It’s always my wife’s daughter when I think she is up to no good. My wife looks at me with that “you big chicken” look.
“Leave us alone, honey, while we talk about it and we’ll let you know what we decide.
Then the negotiations begin. Battling with my wife when trying to get my way can sometimes feel like arguing a major bill on the Senate floor.
“The representative in the recliner chair has the floor!” and though I have already had repeated conversations with my wife about leaving some of or most of the “girl” issues up to her final say so, I dive in with all the sound reasoning I can think of to make sure my little baby is never introduced to the wickedness of the myspace world! I was brilliant, quoting important people, referring to scripture and spitting out statistics. This would be a win for the “good guys” for sure.
“Are you through?” My wife asked, knowing that my allotted two minutes on the floor were up. Then she spoke.
She looked at me and simply asked, “Keith, when you were her age and you wanted something really, really bad and you were told you couldn’t have it what did you do?”
Looking at the wisdom in my wife’s eyes, I knew and she knew I would go get it, even if it meant sneaking around, lying, deceiving, hiding and breaking all rules to do so.
Before my wife could say any more, which she didn’t need to anyway, I told her, “No, I don’t want a daughter or son or anyone to grow up thinking that’s the best way to get what you want out of life.” And there are going to be some things my daughter wants in her life that I’m not too happy about, and if they were not initially meant for harm, which a myspace wasn’t, then there must be a way to make some good come from it and I need to let her grow and trust God.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it.”
Do I believe that? I do so far. How do I know…my daughter has a myspace…with some rules.
Helpful Hints

Here is some valuable information to share with parents or with your group about how to have a myspace if they feel it is necessary for their existence as a preteen.

We shared with our daughter that we will always trust her unless she gives us repeated reasons to not do so. We explained that her freedoms and rewards in life will be directly related to her actions as she continues to grow into the person she will become, especially at an age where we are still in control of her life for the most part.

We explained to her that we believed a myspace could work to the good of those who were faithful. That it could actually send out light into a dark world without being too “preachy,” which might be a turn off to her friends.

We also fortified our initial trust in her and left most of the doubt about the myspace system in the hands of the unknown element out there in myspace cyber world.

With that said, we offered her the chance to experience myspace with these guidelines:

1. That we approve every picture she puts on to her myspace.
2. That her profile picture always include part of a scripture with it, “A friend loves at all times” etc.
3. That we okay and approve all people want to be a friend with her and contact her.
4. That we okay and approve all people she wants to contact to be a friend with.
5. That we okay all music and graphics added to her myspace.
6. That we review all comments made to pictures etc.
7. That we have her passwords and ability to go on to her myspace at all times.
8. That if we feel any one of these rules is not being kept, we can shut down her myspace and that would end that.

And you would think with all that she would run off kicking and screaming, but instead, she went into myspace, or should I say, WE went into myspace gladly. Had she have argued with us about the terms, it might have revealed she was wanting a myspace for some inappropriate reasons.
My wife is a genius. My daughter was able to experience myspace, we came off as cool parents, she was never exposed to areas of myspace that could loom harmful and she met some great Christian friends out there that all began to add scripture next to their pictures.
My daughter is 15 now. She doesn’t have a myspace or feel much of a need to have one.
I feel a sense of relief and I think that we all need to remember the battle belongs to the Lord. Pray for wisdom as you see these young lives come in and out of yours!
“Daddy, can I have a boyfriend?”
Oh no, here we go again! “Go get your mother for me, please!”